We’ve been working hard in the lab lately, and haven’t had as much time to keep up to date here with the growing infected community. But our dedication has paid off, and we’ve managed to isolate a new strain of The NERD: Nerdicus contagium biochemis.
It was incredibly difficult to isolate this particular pathogen because it seems to only survive in the most pristine lab conditions. Quite unlike N. c. maritimus, N. c. biochemis is spread indoors, and only, as far as we can tell, after most bacteria and other pathogens have been temporarily killed off with bleach or alcohol. We have yet to determine the exact mechanism of infection, but it seems like the pathogen can sit on lab coats, pipettes, and other lab ware for an extremely long time and even withstand sterilizing UV lighting.
Symptoms include obsessive attraction to lab work, attention to detail, a strange thrill from working with extremely small volumes of liquid, and desire to express an unquestionable commitment to molecules. They tend to end up working as molecular biologists, physiologists and biochemists, though not all infected individuals end up in these fields. There also seems to be a strange trend involving tattooing molecules with meaning onto themselves. These people, for example, are likely infected with this strain:
"This is love" - Dopamine
Addicted to Adrenaline
Of course, what you do on the date is a whole other story.
By far, the hardest part about being infected with The NERD is finding that special someone who doesn’t mind the disease. Thankfully, there are a number of sites dedicated to this, like Nerd Passions, intellectConnect, Geek 2 Geek, Sweet on Geeks, iQcuties, GeekPlusOne.com, ScientificMatch and Bee My Geek. There are even sites for geeks who like their own gender, like GayGeeks.org. Some of the sites charge to be a member, others don’t, but whatever your monetary investment, you’re sure to find a lot of infected singles on these sites.
Unlike other diseases, The NERD doesn’t necessarily have outward symptoms, therefore it’s entirely possible for infected individuals to mix and mingle with the uninfected population without being identified. So if you’re not infected, keep an eye out for strange behaviors – they may be your only clue that your date is infected with The NERD.
But, as we’ve mentioned before, those infected are better lovers, so even if you’re not infected you might want to give those sites a shot, or at least give NERDs a chance. Sure, you risk getting The NERD, but hey – you’re probably going to catch it eventually anyways.
While we may be unique in our desire to understand the symptoms and causes of The NERD, we’re not the only support site out there for infected individuals. If you’re looking for social networking amongst NERD-positive people, check out one of these places:
Nerd Girls: a site which “celebrates smart-girl individuality that’s revolutionizing our future.”
Nerd Approved: a place to find gizmos and gadgets that are well-liked by the infected.
The Nerd Council: forums with topics on anything that could be of interest to those with The NERD
Nerd Point: A place for nerds to unite, because “the benefits of registering and meeting fellow nerds are endless.”
There are certainly other sites out there, so if you know one, leave a comment! Remember – there’s nothing wrong with NERD infection. It’s a common disease affecting many people. You’re not alone!
Upon searching for NERD cases, our team has stumbled upon this online test which claims it can tell you how nerdy you are. While they might not yet know the implications of this, the authors have created a useful online tool for self-diagnosis!
So if you’ve been lurking here, wondering about your own infection status, go take the quiz and see what it says. Keep in mind, however, that this test is only a preliminary one, and may not catch all cases of The NERD.
Christie Wilcox has detailed much of her NERD infection in a memoir-type post called “A Marine Biologist’s Story“. From the detailed account of her life, it’s clear that she was infected at a very young age, most likely by her parents. She describes in detail being attracted to museums and zoos, lacking normal gag reflexes for dead and decaying creatures and other very clear NERD symptoms without even realizing she’s infected. Here are a few tell-tale quotes:
the most interesting part of my IQ report isn’t the score, it’s the commentary from my examiner. She said I was a “poised, cooperative young child.” I was friendly and quick to talk, and even better, in my chatty childish way, I talked about what I liked:
The student spoke briefly about her interest in animals and bugs, noting that she likes to “find dead geckos and open their mouths to see their tongues.“
I liked learning about the physiology of marine inverts, and playing with them in labs. Once, I spent an entire hour flipping an upside-down jellyfish upside-down then right-side-up again until my hand actually went numb.
I was never squeamish or easily grossed out by things. When I took freshman biology in high school I was the only person who actually got a bit of a kick out of dissecting the fetal pig. I stayed after class to carefully remove its brain so that I could look at it close-up.
It’s a long post, so we won’t post it in its entirety here, but you should go check it out and see what an infection with Nerdicus contagium maratimus looks like when the person isn’t aware of their own illness. It’s a very revealing and entertaining insight into life-long NERD infection.
If you work with an infectious disease long enough, you run the risk of catching it yourself. We regret to inform you that our founder, Christie Wilcox, may have had such an unfortunate occurrence with The NERD (although we suspect her infection may have occurred long before her current work with The NERD). She is displaying strong signs of infection, including being named Science Channel’s Geek of the Week.
On the Science Channel front page, the latest evidence of our founder's NERD infection: Christie is Geek of the Week
The evidence of her infection is plastered all over the Science Channel website and their affiliate site, NerdAbout.
We hope that you will continue to support her and this site, as more than ever the effects of NERD infection are hitting home for us. Truly no one is safe from NERD infection – we all must support and appreciate each other in spite of it.
Often, those infected with The NERD feel a need to express their symptoms in highly creative ways. Just think of George Lucas, J.R.R. Tolkien or Douglas Adams. In his Case Study Behold, a nerd, Andrew K gives us a perfect example a The NERD infection seeking creative outlets, in this case in the form of Poetry. His infection is clearly deep, having reached so far into his brain that it is affecting his emotions:
Young Love
I ask myself where I would be, Without my TI-83. The joy felt when I turned it on was my happy scholastic dawn. Its sleekness and its simple form, kept my young soul markedly warm. The graphing screen, my oldest friend. Without it, pre-calc spelled the end. To watch her trace Arc-Cosine(x) put me into a nerdy hex. Her stark display of asymtotes, stays with me more than all my notes. When I was done the number set, I met her silly alphabet! Making games with novel words; The past time of the clever nerds. A few of us, from what I know, Put on her, Super Mario. Those calculators filled in me, Unquestionable Jealousy. When calc came round my poor ol' head, Our partnership was nearly dead. The teachers, acting cruelly, took my first love away from me! They said "Maths done well in your brain", so they left her out in the rain. I conquered calc without her grace, longing all the while for her embrace. T'was done, day one of post-secondary I found new love, feeling sad and wary. And into life, now I go, with my simple Casio.
Does she have the Flu, Swine flu, or The NERD?
It seems the world is starting to panic about a possible new global epidemic: swine flu – errr, I mean influenza A(H1N1). So far, the pesky influenza virus which mutated from swine, avian, and human flus has spread from Mexico to at least 10 other countries and has set the journalistic powers that be in motion about a “global epidemic.” But just how bad is A(H1N1)? We thought we’d create a chart which compared it to the regular flu and, of course, the NERD.
| Parameter | Swine Flu/ A(H1N1) | Seasonal Flu | The NERD |
| How long does the infection last? | A week or two | A week or two | A lifetime. Those infected with the NERD may see it go into remission, but often symptoms are visible on a daily basis for the rest of the person’s life |
| How contagious is it? | We’re not really sure, but the latest reports say it seems to be spreading slower than expected. It’s probably on par with the seasonal flu. | Highly. About two out of three people who become infected with the flu virus develop symptoms. | Extremely. The NERD is passed person to person, through seawater, and a whole host of other means. It’s one of the most contagious diseases known. |
| How deadly is it? | The number of recorded deaths in Mexico itself appears to be on a par with mortality from other strains of flu. Outside of Mexico, only one person has died. They presume that mostly, like the flu, only those with weak immune systems are at high risk of death. | The seasonal flu, even with vaccinations, kills 36,000 people in the US alone every year, and global estimates are in the hundreds of thousands. Mostly, though, the very young and old are the most at-risk of death due to pneumonia complications. | Unknown. Often deaths which are in part due to NERD infection are classified otherwise, like the death of Steve Irwin. All people, no matter how old or young or healthy, are at risk. |
| How many people are infected? | As of 06:00 GMT, 1 May 2009, according to the World Health Organization, 11 countries have officially reported 331 cases of influenza A(H1N1) infection. | According to the World Health Organization, tens of millions of people get the flu every year. | Current estimates place around 25-50% of the world’s population is infected, with numbers continually rising. |
| Are there any treatments? | Yes. There are a few anti-virals which can help. Symptoms can also be treated with over the counter drugs. | Yes. Every year there is a flu vaccine which can help prevent infection, and there are anti-virals which can be used after infection. Symptoms can also be treated with over the counter drugs. | No. To date there is no cure for The NERD. Even the symptoms themselves can’t easily be managed, as they involve complex neurochemistry which we have yet to fully uncover. |
| Are me and my family at risk? | Maybe. If you’ve recently travelled to Mexico, someone sick near you has, or you have a confirmed case in your area, then it’s possible. Most of the world, so far, is not infected yet. | Yes. The flu is a widespread disease: odds are that someone you could come in contact with might have it. This is why flu vaccination is highly recommended. | Absolutely. In fact, if you’ve read this entire table, the odds are that you are already infected. Regardless, the NERD is in every country in the world and affects people from all walks of life. |
As you can see, the NERD is more contagious, in a larger population and potentially even more deadly than the swine flu and seasonal flu combined. Even the seasonal flu, so far, is much more to worry about than swine flu, at least until more information comes in to show otherwise. So if you’re worried about influenza A(H1N1), you should probably be even more worried about The NERD. If you match any of the symptoms on our symptoms page, you really should get yourself checked out.
These people have very severe NERD infections (but at least they’re letting everyone know):
The NERD:
| PRONUNCIATION: | nûrd |
| VARIANT FORMS: | also nurd |
| NOUN: | Slang 1. A foolish, inept, or unattractive person. 2. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept. 3. Someone exhibiting symptoms of NERD infection. |
| OTHER FORMS: | nerdy —ADJECTIVE |
The NERD is a serious disease that has only recently been identified. In all likelihood, it evolved with us at the very dawn of human beings, and has stuck with us ever since.
Earliest NERD Evidence
Because the discovery of the actual infectious agent of The NERD is fairly new, we can only look anectdotally on people of the past for clues to the origins of the disease. It’s likely that as we evolved, those who were infected contributed most of major technological advances that allowed us to expand and overtake our relative hominids. The first historical evidence of a probable NERD infection date back to 1900 BC or so, when someone who clearly focused more on math than hunting carved Pythagorean triplets into the Mesopotamian cuneiform tablet Plimpton 322 . Clearer cases of The NERD can be found in Greece. Eratosthenes, one of the earliest librarians, who lived around 200 BC, is a great example: He never married, preferring intellectual pursuits to social ones and investing all of his time towards his studies of math and science.
Emporer Claudius - Infected with The NERD?
In Rome, we find the first evidence of a nerd with power: Tiberius Claudius Nero Caesar Drusus (10 BC to 54 AD). He is described as an awkward, socially inept gimp who focused his time on books and learning rather than politics. Lucky for him, too, as his generally unassuming nature spared him from his insane nephew Caligula’s royal killing spree, allowing him to ascend the throne after Caligula’s murder. He went on to be known as Claudius, and was responsible for many achievements including adding Britain to the Roman Empire.
As we travel forward in time, we find that many pioneering scientists, mathmeticians and naturalists were likely infected with The NERD. Everyone from Archimedes to Thomas Jefferson (with his 6,000 book library) all exhibit NERD symptoms. But we also begin to see evidence of minor infections in the population, with characters from books like Viktor Frankenstein, the obsessive antisocial scientist who created a monster. The socially awkward scientist, mathemetician, book lover or naturalist began to play larger roles in print and eventually on screen. Those expresseing NERD symptoms became the lovable outsiders trying desperately to be normal – the ugly ducklings that never quite grew into swans.
The Nerd from Ka-Troo
The word “nerd”, however, only first appeared in 1950 in a Dr. Seuss book called If I Ran The Zoo. The Book’s main character, Gerald McGrew, says he would ” sail to Ka-Troo and bring back an It-Kutch, a Preep and a Proo, a Nerkle, a Nerd and a Seersucker, too” for his collection.
Shortly following this, the word ‘nerd’ percolated through common American slang. It was used to describe a ’square’ – someone who was out of date or out of touch, clinging to old morals or against emerging counter-cultures like the hippies. No one’s quite sure how it came to describe the bookish tendencies it does today. It’s possible that it was merged with slang being used by university students to label their good and bad peers. At Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, those that partied and cared little for their studies were called “drunks,” while the opposite of those were “knurds” (drunks spelled backward), and at MIT they were “gnurds”.
However the transition from uptight to academic occurred, by the ’70s, nerd’s use on Happy Days sealed its place in American slang. But that is only part of the story.
The modern NERD sterotype
That all changed, however, in the late 20th century when researchers began looking into what lay behind “nerd” culture. The first studies were psychological in nature, looking to understand why people were identified as and called themselves “nerds.” Books like “Nerd harassment, incentives, school priorities, and learning” and articles like “Nerd Nation” sought to look at how society related to nerds. It didn’t take long, though, before researchers began realizing that those who came in close contact with the so-called “nerds” tended to begin to act “nerdy” themselves. Even more amazingly, articles like TIME’s “Kicking The Nerd Syndrome” highlighted that those who came from “nerdy” areas lost some of their symptoms when placed in non-”nerdy” ones. All this led researchers to wonder if it wasn’t the culture or the upbringing that caused people to become nerds, but something else entirely.
From that mental leap came the realization that The NERD could actually be contagious and pass from person to person much like a virus. Studies began to look at how NERD affected those infected and those around them. Papers such as “Natural history of NERD in 3 Italian tertiary referral centres after 5 years of follow up” and “NERD with negative 24 hours oesophageal ph-monitoring: Reflux illness or anxious syndrome?” began to pave the way for more complex analysis of The NERD infection.
As the researchers followed the infected, they began to realize the mammoth undertaking they had just signed up for. The NERD had all kinds of different symptoms, seemed to spread by a variety of mechanisms, and indeed might even be a complex of pathogens instead of just one. The data piled up, and scientists began to feel overwhelmed hunting for the infectious agents and how they cause physiological changes. What they needed was a system – a way to classify, organize, and quantify NERD cases.
Finally, in 2008, researchers from Bologna, Italy published a paper titled “How Relevant Is Symptom Evaluation in NERD?” which finally stressed the imporance of understanding the symptoms of The NERD as the key to understanding how the disease works and its overall impacts on people.
“A correct recognition and analysis of symptoms in these patients is essential for an appropriate clinical management, as well as for scientific purposes,” wrote the authors. ” Symptoms alone do not capture all the clinical implications of NERD, but since their frequency and severity are strictly related to their influence on quality of life, they provide a sufficiently reliable picture of the disease.”
Which brings us to now and NERDinfection. Further research into The NERD hinges upon us gathering as much information as we can about NERD cases. We need to catalog as many symptoms – their types, frequency, and severity – for clinical and scientific purposes. As the NERD has been with human beings since the beginning of recorded history, it’s possible that by better understanding The NERD infection, we might just better understand our own evolution and what caused such a disease to be so successful.
The next chapter in the history of the NERD is being written now, thanks to the brave confessions of NERDinfection readers who share their case studies with us. Together, we are making NERD history!
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